This article is mainly for the ladies. It’s meant to help them decipher male psychology. Almost every lady out there has been cheated on in some way and most struggle to understand why. These ladies believe that they are doing all the right things to keep a man’s attention; so learning about their partner’s infidelity always comes as a shock. Some of them think their partners cheat because they love them less. They couldn’t be more wrong because cheating for men has very little to do with love.
The fundamental problem here is that women don’t really understand how male attraction works. They don’t understand how men think. They think if a man sleeps with another woman, it’s because he’s fallen out of love with his wife or girlfriend. They worry that the woman with whom the man cheated could potentially take their place in the man’s heart. But these fears are unjustified because men are not emotional beings. They can sleep with someone and not even remember their name.
Understanding Male Attraction
Men are extremely sexual beings with a very strong sex drive; especially the ones between 20-40 years. Men are also extremely visual. The mistake women make is to assume that the things that drive female attraction apply to male attraction as well. Men are attracted to what they can touch with their hands or see with their eyes. Women wrongly believe that men are attracted to cooking skills and high intellect, to a woman with developmental ideas, a woman who’s focused…etc
A man will obviously like those qualities in a woman. They would want a wife or girlfriend that has her life together but they are not attracted to those things. They are primarily attracted to her body; the size of her butt, her hips, her skin, the shape of her legs, her face, her scent, her lips, her boobs…etc. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that men look at the woman’s “heart”. No they don’t.
When a man meets a woman, his attention is never focused on her personality but rather her body. On a scale of 1-10, if she’s 7 and above, chances are he’ll get attracted to her instantly. If she’s average looking, he’ll have some mental analysis about the different features of her body. He may not like her face but he’ll probably like the size of her boobs or the shape of her hips. This is the reality of what happens in a man’s mind when he meets a woman for the 1st time.
A lot of women will probably find this theory sexist and offensive but that’s how male attraction works. If you’re a woman, it’s very important for you to understand these facets of the male psyche; that’s the only way you’ll be able to attempt to keep your man loyal.
Truth be told, if you want a man to stay committed to you, he needs to find you attractive. He needs to be blown away by your body, the size of your butt, your face, your hair…etc. If your man tells you that these things don’t matter to him, then he’s being disingenuous. He’s really not that into you.
For women, attraction is an acquired taste; a woman needs to get to know someone for a while before they can get attracted to them. They want to study the man’s temperament, his humor, his confidence and ambition…etc. However, for men it’s very different. A man can get attracted to woman and even sleep with her within 5 minutes of meeting her.
The reason why men cheat is because they are more visual than women. The fact that men get attracted to a woman instantly means they are more likely to find someone they have chemistry with and eventually sleep with them.
Our primal Nature
Naturally, we are not a monogamous species. Some animals are monogamous, some are polygamous and others are polyandrous. Humans are not monogamous and neither are we polygamous by nature. We have one foot in both places. We’re neither here nor there. We like to have multiple sexual partners without necessarily committing to a meaningful relationship. That’s our default conditioning.
Why do men cheat?
The background I laid above explains how men are naturally wired to sleep around. There’s not much that women can do to alter that natural predisposition but there are other areas where women can successfully influence men’s loyalty and commitment.
Bad or stale sex; If your man is cheating, you might want to check the state of your sex-life. Boring sex is just as bad as no sex at all. There are several resources online about how to please your partner. It’s important to read up and identify what you might be doing wrong. If you can please a man in bed in a way that other women can’t, that’s a very good way to keep him hooked. Most men will think twice about sleeping with other women if the bedroom experience is outstanding.
No sex at all; A sexless marriage or relationship is a sign of dysfunction. If your man is not getting any sex, don’t expect him to stick around. For some marriages, sex becomes a chore after sometime; some couples go months without sex. If this is happening in your relationship, you need to address it before it goes out of hand.
Your weight: A lot of married women get too comfortable and stop caring for their bodies; ultimately they become less attractive in his eyes with each passing day. As earlier mentioned, men are visual beings. It’s important that they see you looking good all the time.
Corporate Prostitution; The sex trade is one of the oldest in the world. Massage parlors and saunas are one such place where sex is sold for as little as 50,000 Uganda Shillings. Many working class men have been known to visit these joints occasionally. Dating apps like Tinder are also a major hub for this trade.
There are obviously so many other reasons why men cheat that i haven’t mentioned here, such as character; some people cheat because they are natural born cheaters. They’ll cheat at everything; business, exams…etc. As a woman, its important that you use your sense of discernment to stay clear of such men with a moral deficit. Otherwise if you’re dating or married to a regular decent guy, you can employ some of the tips i mentioned above to keep him interested in you. You have to keep the passion alive; short of that, the relationship with wither and die.
#stayhome #staysafe
